Looking past emotions...

    Lately I have been learning a lot about myself, my walk with God, and about my emotions. I have always been an emotional person. I don't mean that in a negative way, I just have always worn my heart on my sleeve. I care deeply about people and circumstances, and if someone is hurting I tend to feel what they are feeling. 

    I used to think that what I was feeling always came from something true, however I am learning that is not always the case. Have you ever gotten upset about someone or something, only to later realize you don't even remember what that is anymore. That is what the book Mood Cure calls a false mood. See you don't actually have a reason for feeling that way, your mind just plays a trick on you and later you feel bad about being upset in the first place. 

   This reality has been so beneficial to me. I don't feel so swept away by my emotions anymore because I can evaluate what my head and emotions are telling me and try to decipher if it comes from a real reason to be upset or if it is literally just in my head. Now, I am not great at this yet, I am just in the beginning stages, but I wanted to share because I feel it is a very real mind trap that we tend to fall for. 

  So if you feel that your emotions are driving you... take a step back and think about why you are upset. Is it a real thing or is it just in your mind. If it's real, take some time and figure out what you need to do to move past it. If it is not based off of a real problem, pray and ask for God to give you the ability to understand it is not real and what you can do when those thoughts occur to you in the future.

   You will never be perfect but as long as you are striving to be better than you were yesterday you are on the right path!

Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you... 1 Peter 5:7

   I woke up this morning to dogs loving on me and my mind instantly going 90 miles a minute. Doubt and anxiety had already filled my mind and I was already having a tough time emotionally. I got ready for church and then hopped into the car.

  We then began to practice for worship and were instantly aware that many aspects of our sound system were off. We were getting KNEB, the radio station, through one of the channels in the sound board. We also had lost the piano and the synth in the monitor mix and were unsure why. The more we practiced and tried to fix things, the louder the problems became.

  At this point we all sat down and prayed because everyone in that room felt hopeless and we were depending on God to lead us to the solutions. We then were able to pin point that the radio was being played through channel 10 and we were able to get the mix we needed.

   We were able to have the service without a problem thanks to God! He is so good! I guess my emotions were written on my sleeve because God sent several amazing people to pray over me this morning. One of them even prayed specifically that God would show me in an undeniable way that He was watching over me and was there with me.

  Fast forward to lunch time. We went to eat at a Chinese restaurant and as we were finishing up and about to pay the waiter came over and told us that ours was already taken care of. One of my students mom had payed for our dinner. I instantly knew this was God showing me in a very real and obvious way that He was watching over me and He is capable of anything! Even paying for our lunch!

Trade in Your fear for Trust...

I recently finished So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore and all I can say is that is was very eye opening. I always knew I had a fear problem but this book brought light to why and what to do in response to it. It made me realize that fear and insecurity is not just happening in my life but in the lives of people all around. I don't want the enemy to have access to me through fear any longer. Instead I am determined to lay them at the cross every time that I decide to take them up again.

    This is my journal and lately I have found that even though I am not great at art it can be very therapeutic to create the vision in my head... These are just a few fears that tend to hit me at times and instead of pretending they are not there I am going to call them out by what they are.

   This is my note page that I took while listening to the audio book. It was so amazing to think that no matter what happens God has me and all I need to do is trust him. Now I know myself enough to know this is not a one time thing... I have already needed to go back to this page and retell myself these truths and I will need to do it again but I refuse to give up this fight because I know I was made for more than fear! Often we can be so focused on what could happen and not realize that the time we spend worrying is wasted and that the end result is not changed based on our worry. Often the result is nothing compared to the amount of worry we put into it. We have to remember that God has us no matter what situation we are in. I know you may be in a place where your situation seems huge and like there is no light on the other side... I often do even if it's not a big deal because of my tendency to fear... but God is there no matter what our circumstances! We can rejoice in that! We need to remember the provider and not the problem! Can I get an AMEN! :) 

    We need to remember that when we react to things we are being studied. What Satan wants more than anything is to distract us from our purpose, glorifying God. He cant read our thoughts but he studies what causes us to go off track and can put it right in front of us at the worst times! In those moments we must choose trust!!!!! I know I need to!

   I don't think it was coincidence that the first song I played tonight was this one. My lovely roomie Celeste introduced me to this song when I was super busy in college and needed time to breathe... Since this has been a favorite of mine! Check it out I promise you won't be sorry!

    Remember we need to trade in our Fear for Trust! God is there and He loves to provide! :)

~Thoughts brought to you from Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity

Preparing for Summer!

  Here I am, the countdown has begun and there are 3 weeks till school ends, summer begins, and I leave for my trip! In this time I am trying to enjoy the easy days with my kids, prepare to switch classrooms (again), attend several meetings, and get ready and packed. It can be exciting but also very stressful. I deal with anxiety and so big things can be really scary and worrisome for me.
   I know how lucky I am to be going to Ireland but sometimes that does not help my anxiety. It would be so easy for me to stay home and never go anywhere but I want to see God's creation and have adventures and stories to share with people. So, though I could easily stay home, I am determined to move past it and see parts of the world that God gives me the chance to see with a thankful heart.
   I get to go to Ireland for 10 days, stay with my grandparents in Atlanta to rest up after, and then to Rock-port to visit my parents. So I get to go abroad, to the city, and the beach. I am so excited! So I will be trying to update as I go so I can share this amazing experience with you! So you can feel like you are there enjoying God's creation as well! Here is a sneak peak!

New adventures for the new year!

On the first and second of this month I was able to do 2 new things that I have never done before. The first was to try Eel. I have tried sushi before but I have never tried an abnormal fish and didn't plan to try it. It was not horrible but not great either! But I survived!

Then I went to a Bronc riding competition to watch my brother in law EJ! He did amazing! We were so proud!!

Till the next adventure!!

A New Year is approaching...

    As it approaches 2015, I have been really thinking about my life and how I have been living. There are some things that I would like to keep doing and naturally there are some things that I would like to leave in 2014! I have come up with my top 8 things that I want to work on in 2015... here they are!
   
   1... God should truly be my focus... not pleasing people or myself... God is the only one that I should be living for and if my eyes are focused on Him, He will take care of me in His perfect way!
 
    2... Being free of worrying about what people think of me. This is hard when you are a people pleaser like myself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have good relationships with people but there is a problem if it overtakes you. God is the one person that I want to please.
 
   3... Being content and really enjoy the life that I have been given and not be always wishing for something else. There are so many things that I take for granted every day and so often I am not content with my life. Instead of dreading the end of vacation, I should be enjoying every second of it while it lasts. I truly want to be able to enjoy every moment of everyday just as God has intended me to.
 
   4... Have a thankful and grateful heart. God has given us so much and I am thankful for our marriage, house, cars, dogs, and friends and family. There are so many moments that are not appreciated because of people not being content and I really don't want to live that way anymore!

   5... Everyday I want to wake up and name at least 1 thing that I am grateful for and spend time thanking God for that. I may even write it in a journal so that I am accountable!

   6... Trying new things and being adventurous. Anyone that knows me can attest that I am a perfectionist and that if I don't think that I can do it well, I don't even attempt it. I don't want that to stop me from exploring. Whether it is cooking, baking, art, reading, hiking, traveling, or whatever else I want to try new things.

   7... Carrying on the legacy of my Papa, helping people with open arms. No matter what he was always welcoming and giving and loving and I want to carry that outlook into my life!

   8... Living a healthy life. Relaxing when needed, exercising, and eating healthy are so important and often they are looked over. Now I am not going to obsess about it but I am going to think about it when I make choices.

   So, there are my focuses or resolutions for the New Year. If for nothing else, I put them online to keep myself accountable because so often I lose track within a few months of the year! Where ever you are, whatever your year holds... Happy New Year and God Bless!!

Spring is about to begin...

   On Thursday of this week we will have Spring! I am beyond excited for so many reasons! Yes, I know that where I live has the potential for winter weather into May but the possibility of lovely weather increases with each day. I am a person that loves snow and winter but I am beyond ready for Spring and Summer.
   I think that between NESA testing for my students and all the gloomy weather it has really made me crave the sun and being outside! I cant wait to garden and take care of my house and travel this summer.

 

                             My new travel bag!

 

              

                         I can't wait for this to be my view!

    I think the thing that is making me most ready for summer is my husband! Last Sunday he surprised me by getting me a bright yellow cruiser with a detachable basket! For the past two years I have wanted to have a bike so I could ride over to Fresh Foods and purchase small items. My husband knew that I was never going to spend that type of money for myself so he decided to surprise me, and boy was I surprised!! I love it and am so ready for weather I can ride it in!

                      Me and My Cruiser! Ready for Summer!
  
   He has been so thoughtful and caring even though he has so much going on as well! Last night, after I got back from night 1 (of 3) parent teacher conferences I put pj's on and went to lay down and he provided dinner and attended to me even though he had worked all day too! It is that selfless attitude that makes me want summer. In the summer we switch places, I have more time to help him and he has his busiest season. And for a short amount of time I get to be a house wife! :)